Balaam's Ass

    A friend of mine was going back to Scotland, and he heard a couple of these little modern philosophers discussing the Bible. One said: "The Bible says that Balaam's ass spoke. Now, I am a scientific man, and I have taken the pains to examine an ass's mouth, and it is so formed that it couldn't speak."

    He was going to toss the whole Bible over because Balaam's ass couldn't speak.

    My friend said he stood it just as long as he could, and finally he said:

    "Ah, man, you make an ass, and I will make him speak."

    The idea that the God who made the ass couldn't speak through his mouth! Did you ever hear such stuff? And yet this was one of your modern philosophers!